Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Year in review

What a year....from the end of my pregnancy, to becoming a mum. From having this tiny helpless little bundle in my arms to having a strong, growing boy that amazes me each and every day. From Erie to Pittsburgh. It's been a crazy ride. But even with it's bad moments it's definitely been the most rewarding year for me ever. And now we can look forward to yet another year as a family. New jobs, a baby rapidly approaching toddlerhood, adventures in gardening and who knows what else awaits us. Happy New Year everyone!

36 weeks pregant and ready to burst. I can't believe I was ever this...round.

Fresh out of the oven. His arrival was not in any way, shape or form what I'd hoped or wanted. But once he was in my arms, that's all that mattered.

One month old and already being silly with Steve

Two months old brought us the start of his infectious giggle and his first smiles

Three months old at HellCity Tattoo. He was quite the hit with my fellow SG's.

Four months old and summer had started. This meant much time spent in the backyard enjoying the grass of our teensy Erie lot

Five months old came with lots of co-napping for everyone

Six months old and exploring the zoo with nana and pap. He also got reacquainted with Martini when she visited us from Toronto.

7 months and....well, just look at that face.

8 months old and celebrating his first Halloween as a portly, immobile pirate.

9 months old brought us crawling, pulling up and a Thanksgiving turkey

10 months old and he's getting to be quite the little man

And now for something I swiped from Gillian at If you have a chance to read her blog, do. She's such an amazing woman and mom. And she makes really adorable slings (which I would buy in bulk if Finn wasn't so all about motoring on his own these days).

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Was pregnant (well only for a month into 2008)
Had a beautiful son
Spent every single day with a baby and documented just about every minute of it
Cheered on my husband's band at many local shows
Attended a tattoo convention....with said baby
Took up sewing
Actually stuck with sewing
Witnessed Finn growing from tiny cuddly human larvae into a crazy, energetic little boy (who needs to get off of that table RIGHT NOW!)
Found great mothering role models
Walked. A lot.
Found a new respect for parents everywhere (well some parents)
Attempted to grow tomatoes
Failed at growing tomatoes
Bought and ate a ton of veggies from local farms
Perfected my nacho recipes
Did some baking (and the results were edible!)
Gave up some friendships
Rekindled other friendships
Remained unemployed for longer than a few months
Moved from Erie back to my hometown
Went slightly crazy for a bit, but became better for it

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Yup, I resolved to be the best mum I could be. I think I'll keep that one up for the new year
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Eh, my cousin had a baby, and so did a handful of SG friends
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My grandpa died at the beginning of 2008.
5. What countries did you visit?
Umm....none. We've been US-bound since having Finn. However we did import the best lady in Canada for an all-too-short visit
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
More close friends, thinner thighs
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
February 14th, 2008- The day I kissed childless life goodbye and gave myself over to another human being completely
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I'm gonna have to go with becoming a parent. In fact I'm pretty sure that'll be the biggest acheivement of my life
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being able to breastfeed as long as I would have liked.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Hmmm...I had a pretty bad cold. Oh and a touch of PPD.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
BumGenius diapers. I'm waaay too excited about things that Finn poops and pees in.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
I have no idea
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I'm gonna have to go with Gillian on this one and say judgemental moms on the interwebs. Oh and teenage girls. Bleh.
14. Where did most of your money go?
To a 2 and half foot tall pipsqueak
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Absolutely everything Finn does, or attempts to do. He's amazing.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
I'm not sure I could narrow it down to one
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
Happier, waaaaay thinner, poorer (but getting better)
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Gone to the beach, taken even more walks.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Being alone
20. How did you spend Christmas?
Unwrapping presents in the morning followed by a late lunch where we all stuffed ourselves senseless. Later on Steve and I took my grandma home and then drove arond a bit looking at lights. Then at Finn's bedtime he threw a fit and we had to go back out for another drive to get him to sleep.
21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Of course.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
SVU, House, The Most Dangerous Catch
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
24. What was the best book you read?
DiaperFree Baby, and Love is a Mix Tape
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I don’t know.
26. What did you want and get?
A baby.
27. What did you want and not get?
Oodles of tax free money, lots of photo work, a pony
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Christ...did I even see any movies this year?
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 25, and I went rather unwillingly to see Steve's band play an all ages show. Afterwards we went and snagged a drink and then ate at the breakfast place.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Having our own place
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Ummm.....I try to wear things that go well with baby puke?
32. What kept you sane?
Finn's smile and infectious laugh.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Gwen Stefani. She has such adorable babies
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Prop 8. Grrrrrrrr
35. Who did you miss?
Ugh, everybody
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Tita. She's such a ball of happiness. It's pretty ridiculous actually
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
People without kids can only hear about your child so many times before they get annoyed.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Past thoughts

I don't know why, but it seems every time I hit a rough patch emotionally, physically, mentally or what have you, I start dreaming about living in Savannah again. Which is positively insane considering how terrible (in hindsight) living there was. Or maybe that's exactly why i dream about it. Because even though now, looking back on those days, I can clearly see that holy crap was there some crazy shit going on in my life then, at the time, in the moment, life was excellent. Everyone was just kind of existing as best as they could, and we all had a blast no matter how broke we were, or what was going on around us. Now, with a family, a baby, I am at all times accutely aware of every little problem around me. And I'm always nitpicking, trying to perfect things that can't be perfected. Maybe I'm just nostalgic for a time when my biggest responsibility was keeping myself alive. I certainly don't miss the drugs, the drinking (although occassionally I wouldn't mind a good glass of scotch), the staying awake for days at a time (of course when Finn is in the midst of teething, we ALL get to re-live this gem), the not knowing when I was going to see my family again. Stability has its perks, and I enjoy them very much. I like being at home and knowing that A) there is edible food besides ramen to be had for dinner, B)there will not be gun shots outside my bedroom window every Thursday through Sunday night, and C) I will not mistake my hubby or anyone else for an intruder and nearly bash their brains in with a Louisville slugger. At the time, we all sat around and laughed about stuff like this, and many many more such incidents. But now, it's like, how in the hell was I not perpetually scared out of my mind? Maybe it's because I was surrounded by so many good friends those days. Even though most of them eventually ended up being incredibly bad friends, for awhile there we had such a nice little family. And that may be the biggest reason that I get all reminiscent about the S-A-V. Starting a family, having a baby, while positively amazing and rewarding, can be lonely. All the non-parent friends kind of slink off once you can't go out on a whim, when just going out for a quick drink requires calling all nearest relatives to find a sitter, and then giving detailed instructions to said sitter. And even if you do get to go out, people with out kids can only sit through so much baby chatter. And if you're lucky enough to have friends with kids you find yourself comparing your baby to theirs. Even if you don't mean to do it. And plus you get all kinds of un-asked for advice. And you get critiqued for everything you do differently then them. There's no winning really.

So, I guess I'll just look forward to spring, and pawn these southerly thoughts off to the weather we've been having. At least in spring we have new ducks to look forward to. And who knows maybe the ducks will bring new friends with them.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Not so much to do with the baby

Maybe its the holidays. Maybe its the weather. But I've been a edge, I suppose you could say lately. And as a result I've started compiling a list of things that, as Steve would say, really grind my gears. Please, enjoy the rant.

People that do not respect the boundaries of my marriage.

  • Sure I'm fine with being hit on. I understand it. I'm sure I unconsciously flirt every now and then. But for asshats to send me messages via Myspace, Facebook or what have you offering their , ahem, services is just downright rude. I make it pretty darn clear in any online community that I'm a member of that I am married and have no desire to sleep with, or even meet up with random, gross, perverted men or women. Seriously.
  • And while we're on the subject of flirting, yes, I understand that my hubby is a cutie. But he, like me, makes it very very plain that he's married. So kindly refrain from trying to get in his pants. Especially if you happen to be an 18 year old band groupie on a mission to screw her way through every local band.

and on the subject of 18 year olds...

Trampy little girls wearing impossible outfits

  • What the HELL kind of weather are you preparing for by wearing a micro-mini, HUGE down vest, tights and knee high sherpa boots? Are your knees and thighs just THAT perpetually warm that do not need covering? And why do you need Ugg boots in the first place? Granted, yes, we do get snow here in Pittsburgh, but it's hardly enough to warrant knee high boots with sheep lining. You all look fecking ridiculous. Please stop now.
  • Honestly, seeing what young girls wear these days is what made me and Steve sooo happy when we found out we were having a boy. The day before the all important ultrasound, Steve came home from the grocery store and reported seeing a 12 year old girl wearing a skirt so short that when she leaned over just slightly he could see her thong. A thong. On a twelve year old. Ugh. Now, I'm hardly one to be conservative. But, please explain to me what in god's name a child is doing wearing a g-string? The kid is dressed like a freaking hooker, and yet I'm sure her mother will wonder just how in the heck she's knocked up at 14.

Bands on Myspace

  • Yes I love, LOVE to support local music. You see that...local music. So if your band is on the other side of the continent, please refrain from spamming me with 20 flyers for your amazing gig on Saturday. And you can also keep your Myspace and Facebook e-vites for said gig. Even if I had the means to globe trot to see marginally good unsigned bands, I would not.

Supposed friends

  • I know I'm not always the best friend. I could be lame and blame it on getting married, or having a baby. But I won't. I can be lazy when it come to keeping in touch. I know this. However, I do NOT stop talking to people when their life changes. I've noticed that since I got hitched and had a babe a large number of my friends have ceased to talk to me. I understand that maybe my life isn't all excitement and parties, and maybe we're all in different places in our lives, but christ, I don't think that makes me that unapproachable. Sorry I can't just go out and get wasted with you on a whim these days, but geesh, I can still chat on the phone or go out for tea. And if you're weirded out by hanging with my kid, well, then you have no idea what you're missing out on. Because he's just awesome.

Well, I suppose that's it for right now. I'm sure I could add on to this list (and I'm sure I will at some point or other), but I'll leave it at that.

Now it's high time I go and cozy up in bed and watch Finding Nemo for the millionth time.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Crazy baby on the loose

Oh my.
Finn has gotten two teeth. The first appeared the day before Thanksgiving and the other started cutting through on the holiday. And there's another one just about cut through on top. He's got quite the bite. For such little teeth they sure are sharp. His crawling and pulling up and cruising has reached new heights of pandemonium. We can hardly keep up with him. And with his new chompers coming in and making him quite irate in the process he's been on an eating and napping strike this past week. And his sleeping at night has been fairly awful. No amount of cuddling and snuggling and rocking can get him soundly back to sleep. He'll pass out in my arms, actually be snoring softly (awww, cute), but the minute his little behind touches mattress he's wide awake and mad as hell about it. I just keep repeating "This too shall pass" and enjoy the snuggles and his warm breath on my neck and try not to think too much about the teeny number of hours (or perhaps minutes) of sleep we're all getting.

As for our holiday, all went well. We all ate way too much, including Finn. He's discovered the greatness that is noodles. He slurped them down like he'd never see another one. And we managed to put off the impending shopping til yesterday. Steve and I ventured out sans baby to pick him up a few things. I was pretty put-off by the huge amount of electronic baby toys available versus the tiny number of actual educational toys. I'm already annoyed with Nana buying and pushing blinking, beeping toys at Finn. To actually see them in HUGE amounts all in one area was mind-boggling. Ugh. And knowing that millions of kids will be receiving these stupid things in a few short weeks is pretty mind-boggling as well. What ever happened to playing WITH your child? What happened to actually being hands on and helping them make new discoveries? Color me aggravated.

Now that I'm good and riled up, its probably best for me to relax with Steve for a bit. Before Finn wakes up and yells at all of us.