Friday, November 27, 2009

Quick tidbit

A conversation with Finn yesterday while waiting for Thanksgiving dinner:

*Finn walks by muttering something incoherent*

Me: What was that buddy?

Finn: Boobies! Big, BIG boobies! Big boobies!

Me: Big boobies?! Who taught you that?

Finn: Nana.

Me: Mooooooom, come here for a second......

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Black Friday

Dear holiday shoppers,

As Black Friday approaches, I'm sure you're all gearing up for your massive shopping blitz, your eyes glazing over at the thought of all the life-changing bargains you're sure to find (personalized oversized cat sweaters 2 for 1?! OMG!) But before you start your buying rampage and completely destroy all of the store displays that took hours to put together, please take a moment and consider the guys and gals that will be taking care of you during your retail high: that's right, the store workers. Now, sure, we've been planning for this as much as you. Stocking the shelves with bright, shiny packages right at eye level, strategically hanging shopping bags so you'll be encourage to buy more than you came in for, practicing how we'll get you to add on even more unneeded crap at the register. But all the planning in the world will not prepare us for your self-entitled bullshit. Just because you spend money in our stores does not give you the right to treat us like garbage. Yes, I know you bought $29 dollars worth of product , but no, I will not let you slide on getting the $10 off a $30 purchase coupon. I don't care how much you've spent in my store before or are planning on spending in the future. If you don't meet the requirements to use a coupon, you're not getting it. And no, I will not individually wrap your pocket hand sanitizers. They're one-inch, by one-inch. They do not need to be wrapped. It's called a stocking stuffer for a reason. And no, I will not follow you around the store and be your personal shopper. I do not know what your Aunt Betty would like, I have no clue as to what fragrance your cousin just bought yesterday, and quite frankly I don't care. I do not get paid enough to put up with your high-needs, co-dependent shit. I will be polite and as helpful as I can with 200 people crammed into a space meant to only hold 50. But really, you should do the same. It is the holidays after all, a time for family, charity and kindness. A fact that gets grossly overlooked when there are anti-bacterial soaps on sale 3 for $10.

Happy shopping!


a friendly retail slave

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Halloween, homes and flying pigs

First off, Finn's second Halloween was pretty awesome.  He was a chicken this year (see picture in previous entry) and made a darn fine one at that.  I'm really glad I didn't find him a Shrek costume since he abandoned his Shrek obsession  a few day before Halloween in favor of Nemo.  On Thursday we took him to the mall where I work for their halloween parade (living in the sticks means no trick-or-treating, since to go house to house you'd have to trek along a main highway or walk through peoples pastures to get anywhere. Somehow I don't think the cows would be fond of costumed children disturbing their peace). I was worried that since it was so close to Finn's bedtime that we'd be in for a rough time.  But he was remarkably well-behaved.  He wasn't too keen on the idea of approaching people for candy, but he was pretty excited to actually get the candy. And he loved seeing all the other kids in costume. Downside was that everyone was giving out lollipops, which sent Finn into a frenzy and he ended up with one sticky sucker in each hand.  On Saturday (the actual holiday) Nana and I took him out to a few relatives' houses where he made out like a bandit.  Both Nana and great-Grammy know that we're not big on giving him lots of sugar, so they each gave him gift bags filled with goodies.  His favorite so far have been a set of matchbox cars (he now goes to sleep every night driving one of them over his pillow) and a pair of t-rex "schwippahs", both from great-Grammy.  He also received some super cute jammies and a few pairs of comfy lounge pants from Nana, along with healthy snacks from everyone.  He was pretty blown away by all his "pwesunts", so it'll be interesting to see what he thinks of Christmas this year.  I know we plan on keeping things low key at our house with just a few fun gifts (I'm sooo excited to get him some Sprig trucks!), but I know Nana goes nutso buying stuff for him.  I forsee a toy box clean out in our very near future to make way for all the new stuff.

Last week, we had an appraiser at our place. Our landlord paid for the appraisal, which was a huge load off of our backs.  We really want to buy our place because we love it so much, and also because we hate moving. We were really hoping it would appraise for what we think it's worth, but it came out about $20,000 more than we expected.  I'm not sure what they take into account during an appraisal, but it apparently doesn't cover anything I find important.  Like the fact that the kitchen is stuck in 1965 and needs a complete overhaul.  Or the desperate need to rip up the gross stained carpet and refinish the hardwood underneath.  Or the fact that when the "new" bathroom was put in all the fixtures were put in crooked and the plaster work was never finished or painted.  Or the fact that none of the rooms besides the kitchen, dining room and Finn's room have central lighting. Or the fact that basement leaks and needs to be sealed and finished.  I just don't get it.  I browsed listing for other houses in our area,and I kid you not, there's a place three times the size of ours (on a smaller lot), with 4 bedrooms, 2 baths and an updated kitchen and it's on the market for $70,000. Which is what we thought our place would appraise for.  Instead our quote is $90, 300.  Ridiculous.  My parents old house which is, again, twice as big as our place, has more land, has recent remodeling on the kitchen, bathrooms, and basement is only listed for $59,000.  I don't get it.  I really, really don't get it.

Now the topic I've been putting off for awhile.  But two of my favorite mommy-bloggers has posted on the subject, so I figured I should as well. Please skip this paragraph if you're already sick of my crazy whackadoo ramblings and my weird approach to parenting. 
H1N1 and it's vaccine.
As Twwly put it so perfectly, let's give the pig farmers a break and stop refering to it as Swine Flu.  I like pigs. I like ham. I love pulled pork bbq.  I do not like a media hyped sickness or its vaccine.  It's just another flu.  Seriously.  More people die every year from the regular flu than have died from H1N1. You have a better chance of being killed in a car wreck on your way to the clinic to get your vaccine for H1N1.  No really, you do.  When we went through this same frenzy in the 70's, more folks died from the vaccine than they did from the flu itself.  And all those "completely healthy" folks that died seemingly out of the blue? Bogus.  No one is "completely healthy" these days. Why? Because no one has a decent immune system anymore.  We're a nation of fast-food guzzling sloths.  We don't exercise enough. We get immunizations for practically everything.  We pop pills for the slightest cough or sneeze.  Our bodies no longer know how to fight off anything.  Sad, but true.  We've had the H1N1 "scare" in our area, but am I shaking in my boots? No.  Am I rushing out to get us all stabbed? Absolutely not (I'll pass on having my kid injected with mercury, thanks).  What are we doing? Eating right, staying active, getting plenty of vitamin C, staying away from anyone sick. Which, by the way is all that you're recommended to do if you feel you have H1N1. Stay home and rest and get lots of fluids. Not rush to the ER where you're just wasting a doctor's time that could be spent treating someone with a REAL emergency.  Use common sense folks, and soon you'll be able to say proudly that you survived the flu scare of aught 9.

Edited to add:
So you don't think I'm just stating MY opinion, and that I'm making up the fact that America is very unhealthy as a nation:
American Diet and Eating Habits
Childhood Obesity
Eating habits and a healthy immune system