A conversation with Finn yesterday while waiting for Thanksgiving dinner:
*Finn walks by muttering something incoherent*
Me: What was that buddy?
Finn: Boobies! Big, BIG boobies! Big boobies!
Me: Big boobies?! Who taught you that?
Finn: Nana.
Me: Mooooooom, come here for a second......
Friday, November 27, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Black Friday
Dear holiday shoppers,
As Black Friday approaches, I'm sure you're all gearing up for your massive shopping blitz, your eyes glazing over at the thought of all the life-changing bargains you're sure to find (personalized oversized cat sweaters 2 for 1?! OMG!) But before you start your buying rampage and completely destroy all of the store displays that took hours to put together, please take a moment and consider the guys and gals that will be taking care of you during your retail high: that's right, the store workers. Now, sure, we've been planning for this as much as you. Stocking the shelves with bright, shiny packages right at eye level, strategically hanging shopping bags so you'll be encourage to buy more than you came in for, practicing how we'll get you to add on even more unneeded crap at the register. But all the planning in the world will not prepare us for your self-entitled bullshit. Just because you spend money in our stores does not give you the right to treat us like garbage. Yes, I know you bought $29 dollars worth of product , but no, I will not let you slide on getting the $10 off a $30 purchase coupon. I don't care how much you've spent in my store before or are planning on spending in the future. If you don't meet the requirements to use a coupon, you're not getting it. And no, I will not individually wrap your pocket hand sanitizers. They're one-inch, by one-inch. They do not need to be wrapped. It's called a stocking stuffer for a reason. And no, I will not follow you around the store and be your personal shopper. I do not know what your Aunt Betty would like, I have no clue as to what fragrance your cousin just bought yesterday, and quite frankly I don't care. I do not get paid enough to put up with your high-needs, co-dependent shit. I will be polite and as helpful as I can with 200 people crammed into a space meant to only hold 50. But really, you should do the same. It is the holidays after all, a time for family, charity and kindness. A fact that gets grossly overlooked when there are anti-bacterial soaps on sale 3 for $10.
Happy shopping!
Sincerely,
a friendly retail slave
As Black Friday approaches, I'm sure you're all gearing up for your massive shopping blitz, your eyes glazing over at the thought of all the life-changing bargains you're sure to find (personalized oversized cat sweaters 2 for 1?! OMG!) But before you start your buying rampage and completely destroy all of the store displays that took hours to put together, please take a moment and consider the guys and gals that will be taking care of you during your retail high: that's right, the store workers. Now, sure, we've been planning for this as much as you. Stocking the shelves with bright, shiny packages right at eye level, strategically hanging shopping bags so you'll be encourage to buy more than you came in for, practicing how we'll get you to add on even more unneeded crap at the register. But all the planning in the world will not prepare us for your self-entitled bullshit. Just because you spend money in our stores does not give you the right to treat us like garbage. Yes, I know you bought $29 dollars worth of product , but no, I will not let you slide on getting the $10 off a $30 purchase coupon. I don't care how much you've spent in my store before or are planning on spending in the future. If you don't meet the requirements to use a coupon, you're not getting it. And no, I will not individually wrap your pocket hand sanitizers. They're one-inch, by one-inch. They do not need to be wrapped. It's called a stocking stuffer for a reason. And no, I will not follow you around the store and be your personal shopper. I do not know what your Aunt Betty would like, I have no clue as to what fragrance your cousin just bought yesterday, and quite frankly I don't care. I do not get paid enough to put up with your high-needs, co-dependent shit. I will be polite and as helpful as I can with 200 people crammed into a space meant to only hold 50. But really, you should do the same. It is the holidays after all, a time for family, charity and kindness. A fact that gets grossly overlooked when there are anti-bacterial soaps on sale 3 for $10.
Happy shopping!
Sincerely,
a friendly retail slave
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Halloween, homes and flying pigs
First off, Finn's second Halloween was pretty awesome. He was a chicken this year (see picture in previous entry) and made a darn fine one at that. I'm really glad I didn't find him a Shrek costume since he abandoned his Shrek obsession a few day before Halloween in favor of Nemo. On Thursday we took him to the mall where I work for their halloween parade (living in the sticks means no trick-or-treating, since to go house to house you'd have to trek along a main highway or walk through peoples pastures to get anywhere. Somehow I don't think the cows would be fond of costumed children disturbing their peace). I was worried that since it was so close to Finn's bedtime that we'd be in for a rough time. But he was remarkably well-behaved. He wasn't too keen on the idea of approaching people for candy, but he was pretty excited to actually get the candy. And he loved seeing all the other kids in costume. Downside was that everyone was giving out lollipops, which sent Finn into a frenzy and he ended up with one sticky sucker in each hand. On Saturday (the actual holiday) Nana and I took him out to a few relatives' houses where he made out like a bandit. Both Nana and great-Grammy know that we're not big on giving him lots of sugar, so they each gave him gift bags filled with goodies. His favorite so far have been a set of matchbox cars (he now goes to sleep every night driving one of them over his pillow) and a pair of t-rex "schwippahs", both from great-Grammy. He also received some super cute jammies and a few pairs of comfy lounge pants from Nana, along with healthy snacks from everyone. He was pretty blown away by all his "pwesunts", so it'll be interesting to see what he thinks of Christmas this year. I know we plan on keeping things low key at our house with just a few fun gifts (I'm sooo excited to get him some Sprig trucks!), but I know Nana goes nutso buying stuff for him. I forsee a toy box clean out in our very near future to make way for all the new stuff.
Last week, we had an appraiser at our place. Our landlord paid for the appraisal, which was a huge load off of our backs. We really want to buy our place because we love it so much, and also because we hate moving. We were really hoping it would appraise for what we think it's worth, but it came out about $20,000 more than we expected. I'm not sure what they take into account during an appraisal, but it apparently doesn't cover anything I find important. Like the fact that the kitchen is stuck in 1965 and needs a complete overhaul. Or the desperate need to rip up the gross stained carpet and refinish the hardwood underneath. Or the fact that when the "new" bathroom was put in all the fixtures were put in crooked and the plaster work was never finished or painted. Or the fact that none of the rooms besides the kitchen, dining room and Finn's room have central lighting. Or the fact that basement leaks and needs to be sealed and finished. I just don't get it. I browsed listing for other houses in our area,and I kid you not, there's a place three times the size of ours (on a smaller lot), with 4 bedrooms, 2 baths and an updated kitchen and it's on the market for $70,000. Which is what we thought our place would appraise for. Instead our quote is $90, 300. Ridiculous. My parents old house which is, again, twice as big as our place, has more land, has recent remodeling on the kitchen, bathrooms, and basement is only listed for $59,000. I don't get it. I really, really don't get it.
Now the topic I've been putting off for awhile. But two of my favorite mommy-bloggers has posted on the subject, so I figured I should as well. Please skip this paragraph if you're already sick of my crazy whackadoo ramblings and my weird approach to parenting.
H1N1 and it's vaccine.
As Twwly put it so perfectly, let's give the pig farmers a break and stop refering to it as Swine Flu. I like pigs. I like ham. I love pulled pork bbq. I do not like a media hyped sickness or its vaccine. It's just another flu. Seriously. More people die every year from the regular flu than have died from H1N1. You have a better chance of being killed in a car wreck on your way to the clinic to get your vaccine for H1N1. No really, you do. When we went through this same frenzy in the 70's, more folks died from the vaccine than they did from the flu itself. And all those "completely healthy" folks that died seemingly out of the blue? Bogus. No one is "completely healthy" these days. Why? Because no one has a decent immune system anymore. We're a nation of fast-food guzzling sloths. We don't exercise enough. We get immunizations for practically everything. We pop pills for the slightest cough or sneeze. Our bodies no longer know how to fight off anything. Sad, but true. We've had the H1N1 "scare" in our area, but am I shaking in my boots? No. Am I rushing out to get us all stabbed? Absolutely not (I'll pass on having my kid injected with mercury, thanks). What are we doing? Eating right, staying active, getting plenty of vitamin C, staying away from anyone sick. Which, by the way is all that you're recommended to do if you feel you have H1N1. Stay home and rest and get lots of fluids. Not rush to the ER where you're just wasting a doctor's time that could be spent treating someone with a REAL emergency. Use common sense folks, and soon you'll be able to say proudly that you survived the flu scare of aught 9.
Edited to add:
So you don't think I'm just stating MY opinion, and that I'm making up the fact that America is very unhealthy as a nation:
American Diet and Eating Habits
Childhood Obesity
Eating habits and a healthy immune system
Last week, we had an appraiser at our place. Our landlord paid for the appraisal, which was a huge load off of our backs. We really want to buy our place because we love it so much, and also because we hate moving. We were really hoping it would appraise for what we think it's worth, but it came out about $20,000 more than we expected. I'm not sure what they take into account during an appraisal, but it apparently doesn't cover anything I find important. Like the fact that the kitchen is stuck in 1965 and needs a complete overhaul. Or the desperate need to rip up the gross stained carpet and refinish the hardwood underneath. Or the fact that when the "new" bathroom was put in all the fixtures were put in crooked and the plaster work was never finished or painted. Or the fact that none of the rooms besides the kitchen, dining room and Finn's room have central lighting. Or the fact that basement leaks and needs to be sealed and finished. I just don't get it. I browsed listing for other houses in our area,and I kid you not, there's a place three times the size of ours (on a smaller lot), with 4 bedrooms, 2 baths and an updated kitchen and it's on the market for $70,000. Which is what we thought our place would appraise for. Instead our quote is $90, 300. Ridiculous. My parents old house which is, again, twice as big as our place, has more land, has recent remodeling on the kitchen, bathrooms, and basement is only listed for $59,000. I don't get it. I really, really don't get it.
Now the topic I've been putting off for awhile. But two of my favorite mommy-bloggers has posted on the subject, so I figured I should as well. Please skip this paragraph if you're already sick of my crazy whackadoo ramblings and my weird approach to parenting.
H1N1 and it's vaccine.
As Twwly put it so perfectly, let's give the pig farmers a break and stop refering to it as Swine Flu. I like pigs. I like ham. I love pulled pork bbq. I do not like a media hyped sickness or its vaccine. It's just another flu. Seriously. More people die every year from the regular flu than have died from H1N1. You have a better chance of being killed in a car wreck on your way to the clinic to get your vaccine for H1N1. No really, you do. When we went through this same frenzy in the 70's, more folks died from the vaccine than they did from the flu itself. And all those "completely healthy" folks that died seemingly out of the blue? Bogus. No one is "completely healthy" these days. Why? Because no one has a decent immune system anymore. We're a nation of fast-food guzzling sloths. We don't exercise enough. We get immunizations for practically everything. We pop pills for the slightest cough or sneeze. Our bodies no longer know how to fight off anything. Sad, but true. We've had the H1N1 "scare" in our area, but am I shaking in my boots? No. Am I rushing out to get us all stabbed? Absolutely not (I'll pass on having my kid injected with mercury, thanks). What are we doing? Eating right, staying active, getting plenty of vitamin C, staying away from anyone sick. Which, by the way is all that you're recommended to do if you feel you have H1N1. Stay home and rest and get lots of fluids. Not rush to the ER where you're just wasting a doctor's time that could be spent treating someone with a REAL emergency. Use common sense folks, and soon you'll be able to say proudly that you survived the flu scare of aught 9.
Edited to add:
So you don't think I'm just stating MY opinion, and that I'm making up the fact that America is very unhealthy as a nation:
American Diet and Eating Habits
Childhood Obesity
Eating habits and a healthy immune system
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Let's talk about...
Teenage girls. They top my "most hated creatures" list. And yesterday night, on my dinner break this fact was greatly enforced.
I'm in line waiting for my sandwich, when two very scantily dressed 12 year olds get in line behind me (I would later find out that they were 13, not that this makes the events any better). I'm instantly appalled that their parents let them out dressed like that. Then I hear one of them mention that a friend was recently found to be smoking by their parents and said parents then made child smoke an entire pack in front of them. For a second I found this funny, since this was what my mom always said she would do if I tried smoking. Then they turned to discussing what brands of cigarettes they liked the best, and who bought them cartons last. Yeah. I was agog. I was aghast. My sandwich being done, I took a seat and thought, "okay, i don't have to hear them any more." But, unfortunately, these mini-chainsmokers sat next to me. And had a loud discussion of who hasn't turned 13 yet, and which sex acts they and their friends have tried already. And where they've had sex. Absolutely mind boggling. I pointed out that the discussion was loud because on the other side of these lovely litle ladies were two tables of families with small kids. I was so disgusted on so many levels. It took every ounce of willpower for me to not start a scene and ream these girls out. I was shaking by the time I went back to work. How has parenting gone so ENORMOUSLY downhill since I was that age ? My mom would have rather fed me to rabid dogs than let me go to the mall by myself at 12-13 years old. And while I had "the talk" by that point, I certainly didn't know all the details. I didn't even have my first "real" kiss until I was 14. And I was completely terrified of the idea of sex until almost 18. The fact that these two girl were so flippantly talking about something so adult is so horrifying and awful. These girls couldn't even take on the responsibilty of caring for a hamster, and yet they're out fucking. Positively disgusting. Yet another reason Finn will be homeschooled and another reason why we live out in the middel of nowhere, far, far away from horrendous people.
I'm in line waiting for my sandwich, when two very scantily dressed 12 year olds get in line behind me (I would later find out that they were 13, not that this makes the events any better). I'm instantly appalled that their parents let them out dressed like that. Then I hear one of them mention that a friend was recently found to be smoking by their parents and said parents then made child smoke an entire pack in front of them. For a second I found this funny, since this was what my mom always said she would do if I tried smoking. Then they turned to discussing what brands of cigarettes they liked the best, and who bought them cartons last. Yeah. I was agog. I was aghast. My sandwich being done, I took a seat and thought, "okay, i don't have to hear them any more." But, unfortunately, these mini-chainsmokers sat next to me. And had a loud discussion of who hasn't turned 13 yet, and which sex acts they and their friends have tried already. And where they've had sex. Absolutely mind boggling. I pointed out that the discussion was loud because on the other side of these lovely litle ladies were two tables of families with small kids. I was so disgusted on so many levels. It took every ounce of willpower for me to not start a scene and ream these girls out. I was shaking by the time I went back to work. How has parenting gone so ENORMOUSLY downhill since I was that age ? My mom would have rather fed me to rabid dogs than let me go to the mall by myself at 12-13 years old. And while I had "the talk" by that point, I certainly didn't know all the details. I didn't even have my first "real" kiss until I was 14. And I was completely terrified of the idea of sex until almost 18. The fact that these two girl were so flippantly talking about something so adult is so horrifying and awful. These girls couldn't even take on the responsibilty of caring for a hamster, and yet they're out fucking. Positively disgusting. Yet another reason Finn will be homeschooled and another reason why we live out in the middel of nowhere, far, far away from horrendous people.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
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Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Filler for now
Until I get around to editing pictures of the past week....a lame meme.
1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth? toothpaste
2.Where was your [Facebook] profile picture taken? my backyard
3.Can you play Guitar Hero?absolutely not
4.Name someone who made you laugh today?Finn
5.What time did you go to bed and why? 10:30 ish? We stayed up to watch Dancing with the Stars.
6.If you could move somewhere else, would you? Canada
7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?probably. until the fireworks started raining down on us and we had to run for cover.
8. Which of your friends lives closest to you?Aaron and Cassie and that whole lot
9. Do you believe ex’s can be friends? sometimes
10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?Tasty every now and then
11. When was the last time you cried really hard?last Wednesday when I realized how fucked we were financially
12. Who took your profile picture?me
13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?A paint covered Finn
14. Was yesterday better than today?I don't know yet
15. Can you live a day without TV?yes, definitely
16. Are you upset about anything?being in the hole $600 and having to pay rent somehow in four days
17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?yes
18. Are you a bad influence?Some would say yes, but I don't think so. Not these days anyhow
19. Night out or night in?Out
20. What items could you not go without during the day?Computer, fuzzy socks, camera
21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?my grandpa right before he passed away
22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?I have no idea
23. How do you feel about your life right now?Happy but stressed. Wishing that we could be financially stable for once
24. Do you hate anyone?not really
25. If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find?play date invites
26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?yes, they might find copious amounts of ice cream though
27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?yes, and they were bat shit crazy for thinking that
28. What song is stuck in your head?Lipgloss-Li'l Mama
29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?Not a deranged stalker or a bear, that's for sure. and if someone was on our property at 2 a.m. I'm sure our neighbor would already have the person at gunpoint before they could knock on my window.
30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50?That's not really up to me
31. Name something you have to do tomorrow?make cookies
32. Do you think too much or too little?way too much
1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth? toothpaste
2.Where was your [Facebook] profile picture taken? my backyard
3.Can you play Guitar Hero?absolutely not
4.Name someone who made you laugh today?Finn
5.What time did you go to bed and why? 10:30 ish? We stayed up to watch Dancing with the Stars.
6.If you could move somewhere else, would you? Canada
7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?probably. until the fireworks started raining down on us and we had to run for cover.
8. Which of your friends lives closest to you?Aaron and Cassie and that whole lot
9. Do you believe ex’s can be friends? sometimes
10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?Tasty every now and then
11. When was the last time you cried really hard?last Wednesday when I realized how fucked we were financially
12. Who took your profile picture?me
13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?A paint covered Finn
14. Was yesterday better than today?I don't know yet
15. Can you live a day without TV?yes, definitely
16. Are you upset about anything?being in the hole $600 and having to pay rent somehow in four days
17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?yes
18. Are you a bad influence?Some would say yes, but I don't think so. Not these days anyhow
19. Night out or night in?Out
20. What items could you not go without during the day?Computer, fuzzy socks, camera
21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?my grandpa right before he passed away
22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?I have no idea
23. How do you feel about your life right now?Happy but stressed. Wishing that we could be financially stable for once
24. Do you hate anyone?not really
25. If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find?play date invites
26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?yes, they might find copious amounts of ice cream though
27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?yes, and they were bat shit crazy for thinking that
28. What song is stuck in your head?Lipgloss-Li'l Mama
29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?Not a deranged stalker or a bear, that's for sure. and if someone was on our property at 2 a.m. I'm sure our neighbor would already have the person at gunpoint before they could knock on my window.
30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50?That's not really up to me
31. Name something you have to do tomorrow?make cookies
32. Do you think too much or too little?way too much
Monday, October 19, 2009
Cleveland rocks!
Well, this blog was going to include lots of hilarious pictures from our weekend in Cleveland, but since Steve uploaded them, heaven only knows where he filed them on the computer. Sigh
Anyways, we ventured to Cleveland on Friday afternoon to visit with Kent and Paula, arguably the cutest couple alive. Nana and Pap were even free to watch Finn overnight so we could go toddler free, which just about never happens. We kicked off our journey with a stop for lunch at our favorite Mexican place in Grove City before making the long drive west. The rest of the drive, pretty uneventful. We made it in one piece and waited with Paula for Kent to get home. After that we all headed to the House of Blues (aka the Biggest Ripoff Ever) since the guys were seeing the Mars Volta (aka worst band in history). We had a highly over priced and under tasty meal there before Paula and I split off on our own for the Cleveland Art Museum. I had never been there before (save wandering past it drunk and barefoot 6 or so years ago), so I had no idea what to expect. It was pretty mind blowing. Especially given that so far the only museum we've had Finn to is the Children's Museum in Pittsburgh. Which, don't get me wrong, is amazing, but it's not exactly old world masters. After a couple fantastic hours at the museum, Paula and I headed out for drinks and dessert while we waited for the guys to call us. Which they did, complaining about being cold and soggy. Our reunited group went to the Spitfire Saloon for a few drinks but the band there was too loud (but I loved them) so we journeyed elsewhere to have drinks and conversation. And did we ever! Steve somehow managed to get into a drunken debate with a random wino over Wings. I wasn't aware that Wings was worth debating. And this wino was apparently the biggest Wings fan ever, and the other three of us saw he night taking a possible bad turn. Luckily, crisis was avoided when they (thankfully) switched to discussing the re-release of the Beatles catalog. Phew. The evening ended with quite possibly the longest Taco Bell run ever (what the hell were the people in front of us doing?) and some long overdue sleep.
When we finally all got up and motoring on Saturday, we had lunch at BD's. And I ate myself into a food coma. With the exception of the lamb, everything was soooo yummy. Afterwards we went to teh used bookstore where I got a ridiculously cheap copy of Lady Chatterley's Lover. Steve and I headed home after that, even though Nana had called and told us that she was going to keep Finn for another night. So we returned to a toddler free house (which is pretty quiet and empty feeling) and I'm surprised that we didn't both pass out immediately. We're way too old and parent-y to keep up that pace. Luckily it doesn't occur that frequently. Otherwise we' be dead.
In summation, excellent, awesome weekend.
And now, the roofers are here. Much too early. I have no idea how Finn is going to nap today with them pounding and stomping around.
Anyways, we ventured to Cleveland on Friday afternoon to visit with Kent and Paula, arguably the cutest couple alive. Nana and Pap were even free to watch Finn overnight so we could go toddler free, which just about never happens. We kicked off our journey with a stop for lunch at our favorite Mexican place in Grove City before making the long drive west. The rest of the drive, pretty uneventful. We made it in one piece and waited with Paula for Kent to get home. After that we all headed to the House of Blues (aka the Biggest Ripoff Ever) since the guys were seeing the Mars Volta (aka worst band in history). We had a highly over priced and under tasty meal there before Paula and I split off on our own for the Cleveland Art Museum. I had never been there before (save wandering past it drunk and barefoot 6 or so years ago), so I had no idea what to expect. It was pretty mind blowing. Especially given that so far the only museum we've had Finn to is the Children's Museum in Pittsburgh. Which, don't get me wrong, is amazing, but it's not exactly old world masters. After a couple fantastic hours at the museum, Paula and I headed out for drinks and dessert while we waited for the guys to call us. Which they did, complaining about being cold and soggy. Our reunited group went to the Spitfire Saloon for a few drinks but the band there was too loud (but I loved them) so we journeyed elsewhere to have drinks and conversation. And did we ever! Steve somehow managed to get into a drunken debate with a random wino over Wings. I wasn't aware that Wings was worth debating. And this wino was apparently the biggest Wings fan ever, and the other three of us saw he night taking a possible bad turn. Luckily, crisis was avoided when they (thankfully) switched to discussing the re-release of the Beatles catalog. Phew. The evening ended with quite possibly the longest Taco Bell run ever (what the hell were the people in front of us doing?) and some long overdue sleep.
When we finally all got up and motoring on Saturday, we had lunch at BD's. And I ate myself into a food coma. With the exception of the lamb, everything was soooo yummy. Afterwards we went to teh used bookstore where I got a ridiculously cheap copy of Lady Chatterley's Lover. Steve and I headed home after that, even though Nana had called and told us that she was going to keep Finn for another night. So we returned to a toddler free house (which is pretty quiet and empty feeling) and I'm surprised that we didn't both pass out immediately. We're way too old and parent-y to keep up that pace. Luckily it doesn't occur that frequently. Otherwise we' be dead.
In summation, excellent, awesome weekend.
And now, the roofers are here. Much too early. I have no idea how Finn is going to nap today with them pounding and stomping around.
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